I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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