i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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