Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
