no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
