He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
