You really coming over, don't trick.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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