im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
