her vagine was all disorganized.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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