I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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