READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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