No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
