They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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