allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
