i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
