Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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