Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I supernannyed him into submission
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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