Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
