Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
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