You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
