Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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