I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
