How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
