Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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