just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
