His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
