I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
