I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
