Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She's the barista slut.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
