I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
