Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just threw up on my dentist
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Holy shit dude........stairs
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
