This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He better not be in your backpack
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
