Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
