Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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