im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
