I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
