I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
