Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
