I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
