Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
