3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
