I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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