cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
