Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
