Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I love you. Go after that dick
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
