I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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