On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
