Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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