am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
