im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
