a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
