dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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